L Morgan On the Couch

This episode features one of my favorite guests to date, the incredible, Tony-nominated L Morgan Lee. L Morgan was nominated for her brilliant work in a role she originated in the Tony winning best musical A Strange Loop. Before our interview, I knew little else about her life and I’m truly honored to have given her a space to tell her unbelievable story of not only discovering but also embodying her true self through and because of theater. 

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

00:30.75
howtosucceed
I'm so happy to see you. It's been so long. Yeah, how.

00:45.49
L Morgan Lee
I was like it's been a bit the whole holiday season. Things are okay, um I am getting into the new year so that's always I feel like January is always a bit clunky. Um that January february.

00:50.46
howtosucceed
How are things.

00:59.45
howtosucceed
It is truly Yeah, yes.

01:02.41
L Morgan Lee
It's always clunky. So so I'm trying to survive that I feel like once once I sort of get through the other side of that I will be happy. Um, but like I think there's like there's some cool like seeds being planted. Um, but I am but I'm being very I'm being presented with a bunch of tests.

01:10.39
howtosucceed
Yes, but.

01:16.30
howtosucceed
Yeah.

01:22.60
L Morgan Lee
Right now I was like yeah.

01:24.23
howtosucceed
Um, oh my gosh I Want to hear everything um, either like in the podcast or at some other point. Um, yeah, you just I just saw that you posted about becoming a professor at pace. That's awesome.

01:38.74
L Morgan Lee
Yes, yeah, it. Ah so it's something that sort of came into fruition. Ah at the in the like couple months back. Um I put out a blur basically saying.

01:40.44
howtosucceed
What is so that what's that canym look like.

01:48.89
howtosucceed
Behind.

01:53.90
L Morgan Lee
Um, if anyone knew of any like universities or ah programs that needed. You know people become into Q and as or to speak or to potentially teach um that I was looking for hits. Um I I did not I sort of have given up on the dream of.

02:01.17
howtosucceed
Yeah.

02:09.60
L Morgan Lee
Getting to teach at the University level because I don't have an Mfa um and like I've been teaching forever but I just because I don't have the Mfa I'm always I'm such a creature of like these were the rules if they're not followed then you don't get it kind of a thing and so so I just I've just settled to that.

02:12.26
howtosucceed
Oh right.

02:24.86
howtosucceed
Ah, right? no breakthroughs. Yeah.

02:28.11
L Morgan Lee
Yeah I've just sort of settled to um I would not get to I probably would not get to teach in college. Um because I don't have the Mfa and then this opportunity got presented to me and I was like absolutely it's a junior junior level. Ah music theater scene study class.

02:45.16
howtosucceed
Great.

02:46.86
L Morgan Lee
So basically I'm just working on musicals scenes from musicals with the junior class. There's 2 sections. It's on Tuesdays I am over the moon. Um, my second class will be tomorrow the first class after the first class I think the day was long because it's like you know 20

02:55.12
howtosucceed
The hour.

03:04.51
L Morgan Lee
2020 year olds basically um so it was a bit of a long day. Um, back to back. Basically it's 2 3 hour slots back to back. Um, it's a day. Um, but afterwards but afterwards I got home and I just took this like really long exhale.

03:05.63
howtosucceed
Oh I am but.

03:13.10
howtosucceed
Oh that's a lot. Yeah.

03:22.84
L Morgan Lee
And I thought like I have been picturing what this would be for so long that I didn't even realize that I've been building the skill sets that I needed to really do this for years. It was no different than any other class that I've run it was note like there was nothing new about it actually except for the new faces. Um.

03:34.36
howtosucceed
Um, yes.

03:42.10
L Morgan Lee
So I'm like so that made me like so invigorated to like pick up some other maybe another adjunct situation I'd like I love I can get I Love if that could be the survival quote unquote job. Um, because teaching is it means it means the world to me. So.

03:42.52
howtosucceed
Um, that's the best. Yes.

03:54.74
howtosucceed
Yeah, that's amazing right? Yeah, actually the last episode that I recorded was with ah a dance professor in Boston and it was kind of a similar thing where like she considers it her side gig but she's got a full load and yeah and then it's like you get to.

04:01.47
L Morgan Lee
A.

04:07.52
L Morgan Lee
But right.

04:12.72
howtosucceed
Practice theater all day long and then do shows at night or whatever on the weekends or when you can.

04:16.46
L Morgan Lee
Yeah, it's like and it's in for me, It's also like ah it's interesting because I'm like yes, it's working on musical theater scenes but like more importantly, it's like giving me an opportunity to like plant seeds to help armor these students up for what they're going to be walking into.

04:30.80
howtosucceed
Right? yeah.

04:32.62
L Morgan Lee
Um, because I remember being a student and like not having any clue about what the world war was going to be um and so it's like a great chance to both help them hone their craft but also to like help them as humans know that it's okay to be you and it's okay to to to.

04:39.77
howtosucceed
Um, yeah.

04:51.62
L Morgan Lee
You know challenge the room and it's okay, to ah to advocate for yourself like these are the things I feel like we're not usually taught that I think will be really helpful if I can somehow implant into these students.

04:53.70
howtosucceed
Yes.

04:59.34
howtosucceed
Yes I love that and actually that would be a perfect thing to talk about is that journey for you getting there? Um I mean I don't I don't know a lot about your story I mean I know.

05:07.10
L Morgan Lee
There in in.

05:17.67
howtosucceed
The you know the big Tony Nominee part of it but I'm sure there's so much before that and I think this podcast is a lot about like the reality and the misconceptions and what people think it might look like to have your life. But.

05:21.48
L Morgan Lee
Um.

05:31.11
L Morgan Lee
He.

05:33.89
howtosucceed
But what does it actually look like and like how did you get there. You know that's a major that's like a million questions and 1 But if you want to talk a little bit about your your background. They'll be amazing. Yeah, ah.

05:37.87
L Morgan Lee
Sure.

05:45.00
L Morgan Lee
Oh my god I mean where do I even where do I even begin I was born on a cold evening when July ah.

05:52.67
howtosucceed
Yes, sing a song about it please hear one woman to.

05:55.67
L Morgan Lee
Ah, um I mean I I was yeah I was I was born and raised in Maryland um, and so they just just outside of DC not not DC I say the Dmv is what most people say um, went to I've always been performing since.

06:12.26
howtosucceed
Um.

06:13.71
L Morgan Lee
I mean since I was in a high chair. Um, so I've literally always been singing rather and like sort of daydreaming about being in you know movie musicals and Tv shows. Um, so that the dream actually for me was always which I actually coming back to now as an adult this many years later

06:14.60
howtosucceed
Yeah.

06:23.39
howtosucceed
Yeah.

06:31.84
L Morgan Lee
The dream was always to do movie musicals and then to do tv and film. Um, it's like it's like if there was an idea of stage I was like oh I want to do plays but I never really had the the goal for me was never to do but Broadway musicals. Um on stage.

06:33.70
howtosucceed
Oh My gosh. Okay well. How.

06:48.97
howtosucceed
Um, okay, yeah, yeah, did you did you go to a lot of theater. So maybe that's part of it. Yeah, right.

06:49.92
L Morgan Lee
Um I sort of I sort of got thrown into that when people realized that I could sing. Um, so um, no, no, no, no, we we? Yeah, it's like it was not. It wasn't something that I thought we could do um but.

07:05.11
howtosucceed
Right.

07:06.70
L Morgan Lee
But I knew I could be on Tv and I knew I could be in these like sitcoms and like you know, primetime movies and things. Um, so that was always the actual dream for me and then I went to school for classical voice I was a voice major in in high school. Um and realized that.

07:10.30
howtosucceed
Um, yeah, right.

07:20.53
howtosucceed
My head.

07:25.35
L Morgan Lee
Basically realized that there was something about the classical world that felt very disconnected from people's reality for me. Um I like like I had teachers pushing me being like oh my God let's like we have to hone this. We have to work on this and I just kept feeling like I want to be able to sit at the lip of the stage and like tell a really simple story and.

07:31.90
howtosucceed
Yeah.

07:44.42
L Morgan Lee
Everyone understand it and I I can't and I can't do that in Opera So I I have to find the place where I can do that? Um, it's yeah, it's like me, it's like musical theater ends up then of course being the the way to do that. But by the time I got to college.

07:44.85
howtosucceed
Oh my God Yeah, amazing. Yeah, what a visual and in that description actually.

08:03.20
L Morgan Lee
I started as a classical voice major and so first semester that was plotted I I am certainly ah I'm mindful about what spaces I'm walking into and sort of if I need to get into that space kind of what I might have to do to sort of fit into that space in a way Even if I know I want to do something else.

08:21.49
howtosucceed
Ah, yes, right.

08:22.77
L Morgan Lee
So like I knew going in that I was being lazy too because I knew going in that auditioning for the musical theater program meant I had to do you know and a monologue and dancing and singing and I didn't go to the school to audition I sent in tapes so I was like I'm going to audition for the voice department.

08:36.57
howtosucceed
This okay.

08:41.59
L Morgan Lee
Because that means I just stand and sing 3 songs on a tape and that's it and so and so I so I did that um, got in and immediately was like how do I how do I get into the musical theater program. Um, and so I got there I took an opera scenes class.

08:43.00
howtosucceed
Right? Yeah, very clear cut. Yeah.

08:54.60
howtosucceed
Oh my gosh amazing.

09:01.50
L Morgan Lee
And my teacher in that apro scenes class was also one of the teachers in the musical theater program so she was like she pulled me aside one day after class and was like your eyes your eyes are very um ah she was like I can tell stories in your eyes I can tell when you're I know what's coming next like I know what you're saying if I wasn't even listening. She was like.

09:04.33
howtosucceed
Great.

09:16.36
howtosucceed
Um, Wow Yeah, who yeah yeah, so then did you have to.

09:20.34
L Morgan Lee
I Think you need to look at the theater program as well. She was like you could do opera but I feel like you need to look at the theater program and I was like well I want to be in the theater program. That's how I got here I I had to audition for the theater program but like so I was I was smart because when I got there I was taking modern.

09:30.44
howtosucceed
Reau audition for the theater program. Yeah.

09:38.32
L Morgan Lee
With one of the teachers who was in the musical theater program. So I had a dance thing in there I was taking acting for non majorjos as well. So I I was I was trying to figure out the way to just segway easily so they had already known that I was taking act in class I had to do a monologue that was fine. Um, and I was already working with a dance teacher.

09:42.15
howtosucceed
Um, okay, perfect.

09:56.71
L Morgan Lee
So I just went right in. Yeah, it was like it was the easier because I knew going and took a musical theater program. Also the odds are very different like you don't know if you're going to get in or not um I was a little full of myself and that I was like I will get in the voice program.

09:57.91
howtosucceed
That's really interesting. Yeah, it's kind of like a backend way of doing that is smart.

10:07.40
howtosucceed
Yeah.

10:14.25
L Morgan Lee
Um, like there there there won't there won't be Yeah, it was like I know there won't be. There's never enough people assign mail at Birth who can sing high seas easily like it's sort of it's sort of like you know you're going to probably get in the program if you go go and sing the right songs. Um.

10:14.95
howtosucceed
Ah, well you did? yeah.

10:23.61
howtosucceed
Um, right right? and you did yeah amazing. Oh well I Want to say.

10:31.57
L Morgan Lee
So so it worked Thank God because I didn't apply anywhere else messages apply to more than one school. Ah.

10:41.30
howtosucceed
You're ah lucky but you are also super smart and strategic and like yes, very lucky. Um and I love that you like paved your own way.

10:44.40
L Morgan Lee
Um, it was like but also very lucky.

10:51.26
L Morgan Lee
I Think and I what's interesting in in the in the idea of like what has the ride been like it's a lot of me sort of knowing that I typically never fit what rooms expect me to be and so I'm always.

11:10.32
howtosucceed
Ah ahead.

11:10.71
L Morgan Lee
Sort of tasked with having to introduce myself and hope that they see me clearly and that's it's been that way all the way like it's been like that all my life. So like even when I got to New York after school I mean I graduated from school and got to New York like

11:17.13
howtosucceed
Ah, gosh That's yeah, right.

11:29.46
L Morgan Lee
Two weeks later maybe I woke up in New York I'd like fifty bucks my bank account. My rent was paid I had groceries and it was like here we go and like I jumped in I mean I had a couple like interesting run ins while I was in school that sort of challenged my graduate graduating like.

11:31.97
howtosucceed
Um, yeah, um, um, ah wow.

11:42.20
howtosucceed
2

11:48.24
L Morgan Lee
Like I auditioned for the smokeky Joe's cafe tour and like I went I went to New York to take audition for this tour just thinking it was like cool to get the experience of auditioning and like see what this is like in the real world and like it was it was some of I would say some of the audition experiences I had.

11:50.59
howtosucceed
Yeah.

11:57.43
howtosucceed
Um, yeah, totally.

12:06.70
L Morgan Lee
In college coming up to New York to audition I wish I had those things happen now like like you could not like you. They're like the dream audition experiences where someone's like this is just how it goes that they're like oh my god like they stop and they're like oh my god like here's my car. The casting director goes here's my card.

12:11.57
howtosucceed
Um I.

12:15.55
howtosucceed
Oh my God you're like this is easy I.

12:26.25
L Morgan Lee
Let me know if you book anything like like we you, you are so in like I was like right to like final callbacks really quick like it was like all these things that just I had a composer I had a composer that I still adore um audition for a tour of that of a piece that he had written and like.

12:27.86
howtosucceed
Oh My god. Wow! yeah.

12:46.14
L Morgan Lee
After I sang the the cut it was mind you it was an audition where they were telling everyone of course I was not out and so I was still being sort of assumed male. At this point. Um and like there was this line of people outside and and this callback or whatever. Um, and they came out and said please everybody sing the highest thing in your book.

12:54.74
howtosucceed
Right.

13:05.40
L Morgan Lee
And so for me, that's all for me that was always like a ah well this will be great because I could what what color do you want? Do you want? Legit Do you want right? like what is it? Um, but they'd given us sides and so I was like why would I just go in randomly screaming out some song when.

13:06.22
howtosucceed
Um, oh.

13:11.55
howtosucceed
Um, easy. Yeah.

13:18.98
howtosucceed
Um, ah.

13:23.18
L Morgan Lee
You've given us sides that show the B The D The thing that needs to be in this cut like it's all here. So we got in the room. So what's I begot in the room and I was like um they were like what are you singing for us and I went I'm I'm going to sing the sides and the the composer goes the composer goes. Finally.

13:26.88
howtosucceed
Right? right? Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah.

13:41.40
L Morgan Lee
I Believe someone say it's by who is writing outside that right? so get in the room get in the room do the side. Um, and then afterwards the composer goes higher and I like stopped and like for me like.

13:43.12
howtosucceed
That's so weird. That's like a miscommunication on their part but good for you like it worked out. Ah.

13:59.38
L Morgan Lee
Being in my own crazy lady world in my head I was like actually like a half step up would make a big difference in this cut for me because it would like it would resonate in a different way and it'll be a little bit easier for me to do.

14:09.15
howtosucceed
You could be better right? yeah.

14:11.64
L Morgan Lee
Actually I was like a half step up because it was like a D flatath the and I was like if it's a D I can go I can go to like a really bright place and it'll be a lot easier to it to end the song on. Um, he goes no higher you higher you. So so so.

14:17.36
howtosucceed
Oh my God yeah.

14:26.43
howtosucceed
Oh my god.

14:30.70
L Morgan Lee
The director goes can we see can we see this child like read the sides first like let me get to the next? um I did not book that tour. Um I did not book but the experience in that room was a lot of um.

14:34.90
howtosucceed
Um, right like hello. But.

14:44.97
howtosucceed
Yeah, and like confidence building.

14:48.47
L Morgan Lee
Yeah, those those kinds of experiences happen like a number of times while I was in college just casually just casually coming up to New York to see what the audition life was like in New York um I mean this was like.

14:53.34
howtosucceed
Oh my god. Yeah, and what year like what was Broadway looking like at this period of time.

15:07.50
L Morgan Lee
2000 um

15:07.76
howtosucceed
Okay, so yeah, if it's like smokey Joe like you were obviously what some people were looking for at that time.

15:15.14
L Morgan Lee
Oh I mean well I think because the idea of it was still in that period where like the idea of someone being like short and like a sign male at birth and like able to sing like through the stratosphere. But still kind of a newish idea on the scene. Um, there was so so few people. Yeah I mean like it was like Victor Trent Cook um was kind of one of the only people like you had like darius to us back then you had like um and so like.

15:32.20
howtosucceed
Right? That makes sense and there were like fewer people like ah um, ah oh my God amazing.

15:48.13
howtosucceed
Yeah.

15:49.42
L Morgan Lee
And then you have look yeah Billy Porter but like it was different if you were able to be legit because that sort of changed the color of the sound. Um, so when I got to the city. Um, it's funny because I was one of the earlier auditions I was in was for this show called good vibrations.

15:52.58
howtosucceed
Sure.

16:06.30
howtosucceed
Oh ah.

16:06.90
L Morgan Lee
That was that was it went to Broadway and like they were already in there like they were already in their like whole like about to start the rehearsal situation. Um, and I had like wouldn't it be nice and I brought in wouldn't it be nice and like I was like this is so easy to so much fun I can like play with this and I get in the room and like.

16:14.20
howtosucceed
Yeah.

16:24.73
L Morgan Lee
There was someone who was on the creative team behind the table they were like they were like so interesting like we've never seen you before like I actually wish we could have seen you a little earlier and I was like oh that's so I was like well that's nice. Ok well I guess I mean and I laughed and then afterwards I was introduced to someone named Titus Burgess who

16:33.54
howtosucceed
Oh yeah, oh my God right.

16:43.78
L Morgan Lee
Who and Titus is who did that show. Um, and so like there was so it's like there were at that point there weren't a lot of people who were even it was specifically the sort of black high voice situation. Um and all and but thing I think it's so interesting about it is that all of us sang very differently.

16:49.74
howtosucceed
Yeah. Right. Yeah, yeah.

17:01.17
L Morgan Lee
And like everyone has their own lane of what they do and I mean with me it was like well she's actually has a whole another journey coming up that she sees that like she's actually it's not actually so different that she's singing here because she's gonna need to sing here whole life. Um.

17:09.70
howtosucceed
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly right right? right? Yeah oh wow you know.

17:20.27
L Morgan Lee
Yeah, but like I I got here and like ended up booking a tour pretty quickly. Um and then was often running I mean things sort of stopped after I just giving you the whole lowdown here um feel free to cut around it. Um I Um, yeah, it's like I I pretty much like got.

17:31.96
howtosucceed
Um I Love that Yeah I will but it's great. Yeah.

17:39.98
L Morgan Lee
Up and running so it did like 2 or 3 tours I think right at the start and then I made the decision that I'm a cancer so I'm like I want to stay at home I want to have a home base. Um.

17:49.80
howtosucceed
Yeah I am the same way.

17:54.33
L Morgan Lee
Yeah, so I was like I have to stop touring and I need to work in New York if that's the case and how does that how do we focus on that and then everything stopped everything like everything calmed down and.

17:58.77
howtosucceed
Man.

18:05.55
howtosucceed
Um, and then the reality hey struck oh goodness.

18:10.76
L Morgan Lee
I was in lots of really cool callbacks for projects but like things never quite made it through and I was like this is so annoying because I'm getting to like finals for like all these like original like Broadway cast situations. Um spelling be was one that I was like so like.

18:16.46
howtosucceed
Um, yeah, ah yeah, ah close Oh may not.

18:30.28
L Morgan Lee
Crazy thinking like this could actually happen in like and would make a kind of a cool choice because I was like someone who someone who looks like me never gets the chance to be I was in for a chip so I was like never gets a chance to get to the final final like bit.

18:35.52
howtosucceed
Just.

18:46.21
howtosucceed
Um, oh oh man, that's true. Oh my God I would love to see you play chip. Ah yeah, totally.

18:48.32
L Morgan Lee
Where like you won the bee and you get to do all that like I was like you never get to do that. We never see that it's it's like we never saw that um and so um and I and I actually did the bees growing up so like I knew the spelling Bee world.

19:03.95
howtosucceed
Oh right? Oh my God That's amazing. Have you gotten to do that show ever know? yeah.

19:07.20
L Morgan Lee
I was in the I was in our county spelling be like and I I know what that feeling is um, no and never got to do it now I mean now of course the what up the what I'd want to do is very different but um, but like it's it's it was one of those things was just I I realized years later that.

19:22.99
howtosucceed
So fine.

19:25.61
L Morgan Lee
Of course like more currently, um, a lot of those things None of those things were meant to work out because I needed to get to me I needed to sort of not be hiding The reason why I was never connecting in the room fully. The reason why people didn't quite know what to do with me is because I actually wasn't showing them me I was.

19:30.50
howtosucceed
Yeah, exactly oh man.

19:43.42
howtosucceed
Oh my God This is brilliant content. That's so fascinating because I feel like oftentimes especially actors. They feel like they have to.

19:44.99
L Morgan Lee
I was acting I was acting.

19:59.49
L Morgan Lee
This is it.

20:00.64
howtosucceed
Fit a certain mold and they do I mean that's because they do but to actually truly get to like full alignment and full success. The best path is to find yourself.

20:12.29
L Morgan Lee
Which is which is like the key of sort of all of the work I do period like all of my color all of the different areas of the business that I sort of play in. Um, that is the central element of all of them is helping you define yourself.

20:26.81
howtosucceed
Yeah.

20:28.23
L Morgan Lee
Um, because it's like it really was not until then that I felt that I truly I feel like even even in terms of acting like I I I I was a decent actor in school I Guess I mean it was the area that I was a little bit I was the least confident with because I was a classical voice major um. But by the time I graduated I felt like no, you're an actor. You're able to do this but I always felt like I was acting in a way that like now when I think of things of course I'm older Now. So It's different but like it's just connection feels like something very different now than it did to me ever before. Um, it's like.

20:46.37
howtosucceed
Um, right.

20:48.83
howtosucceed
Yeah.

20:56.38
howtosucceed
Yeah, yeah.

21:05.13
howtosucceed
Ah, that's also fascinating. Yeah, um.

21:06.40
L Morgan Lee
It's like I'm I'm able to actually like I can fully live through the text in a way now because I'm not trying to be somebody else living through the text you know what I mean like it's like I'm not I'm not double acting.

21:15.67
howtosucceed
Right? Like you're only acting Yes, exactly you're only acting once and you're so connected with who you are you know what? that translation is as supposed to oh my God That's also brilliant.

21:24.44
L Morgan Lee
Yeah, as opposed to like on as and as opposed to subconsciously trying to be something that you aren't and on top of that trying to play the role of another person. It's like it's just really complicated.

21:37.54
howtosucceed
Right? Oh God Oh my gosh. Um I feel like strange loop actually represents your story so much but there I and so I definitely want to talk about strange loop in that journey. But I feel like there's also more journey in between.

21:44.24
L Morgan Lee
He.

21:53.81
howtosucceed
Where are you just finished in strange loop.

21:54.20
L Morgan Lee
Yeah I mean there you know I did a lot of like when I got to the city like for instance I I started drafting a a show because one thing I learned it's funny because I went through that like vote like talking about auditions and talking about the business.

22:03.42
howtosucceed
Um, okay.

22:13.39
L Morgan Lee
I Sort of went through this period of being very vocal about I need to make myself I feel like I'm a you know a circle trying to fit into a square peg often and so I need to make myself fit that Square peg and then once I'm inside of it I can expand my limbs and be the circle and I I was just.

22:29.41
howtosucceed
Oh.

22:31.41
L Morgan Lee
So fixed on this is the way this list will work this will work and in the meantime I will just work on things that I want to work on on the side that was not going to work um like it what because because again, you're doing these layers of acting that you're never satisfied and even if you get in the room. Absolutely I mean I.

22:38.47
howtosucceed
Okay, no yeah, you might and that's stressful. Yeah.

22:50.35
L Morgan Lee
I I I I certainly like booked a couple things as a result of that but it still wasn't that kind of satisfying feeling that you have when you're truly just sitting in the right space I always felt like nothing quite felt.

22:55.11
howtosucceed
Um, yeah.

23:01.67
howtosucceed
Right? yes.

23:07.20
L Morgan Lee
Even when I was booking things I never felt fully like I'm like my feet are on the ground and I'm really extending my limbs through this track I never felt that it was always like I'm doing the track I'm getting paid. This is a great group of people I'm having fun and I equated that like that's what acting felt like that's what working felt like um.

23:13.74
howtosucceed
Yeah.

23:26.28
howtosucceed
Um, oh my God and for saying yeah.

23:26.73
L Morgan Lee
And was and was living the same way like I I I felt like I was a pretty happy human I've pretty but I felt satisfied I felt grateful with what I was given. Um, so I started working on this project. Um, that was started out to be like a cabaret situation. Um.

23:41.90
howtosucceed
Um, ah okay.

23:46.15
L Morgan Lee
And I was like I want to build this cabaret with with like a couple of guys around me and like have this sort of a piece and I worked out this whole narrative and I had like a story under it and I kept thinking to myself I Want to find some way for me to just like do what I do in a project and not.

24:02.58
howtosucceed
Yeah, yeah, okay so and so you knew you weren't doing that yet. Yeah.

24:04.70
L Morgan Lee
And not have to explain I don't want to have to explain everything I want to just be able to do it and like for me I knew I wasn't doing that and so and so I was like the only way I can fully do that. If I write a character because I haven't seen a character that gets to do like the quote unquote what I do um and then I got to the only way to make this character honest is for the character to be Trans Um, and I was like.

24:26.52
howtosucceed
Ah, sure.

24:35.10
howtosucceed
Ah, okay, so what? yeah oh my god.

24:38.16
L Morgan Lee
Mind you I had not connected to that for myself yet. But I was like in order for this character to actually be believable and for people to not explain for me not to have to explain why I'm seeing against certain keys or doing certain kinds of scene work or just the only way that it'll work is if this is a Trans woman.

24:55.70
howtosucceed
Oh my God mad. It's this amazing.

24:57.27
L Morgan Lee
And so I built Katie I built an entire musical I don't I built a whole musical called Madam um, that's like set in like late eighteen hundreds early nineteen hundreds in New Orleans a full book show about this this.

25:10.94
howtosucceed
Yeah, oh.

25:15.94
L Morgan Lee
Girl who works on a brothel and this guy that comes in and meets her and like in this brothel she was you know everyone at this brothel is is ah is some form of gender expansive. Um and like it was a special kind of brought like it was just this whole story and mind you I'm sitting there going? Oh my God I don't know where this story is coming from I'm I'm just.

25:27.66
howtosucceed
Um.

25:35.27
L Morgan Lee
I'm a vessel for this story somehow because I don't even know where it's come I'm just writing it's flowing and I'm just writing I don't know where it's coming from then like what is this story like and like and me not like like full on like like full on starting to.

25:36.20
howtosucceed
Um, oh my God is blowing out of me. Yeah, which is the best feeling in the world. But then you're like wait. Oh oh my god.

25:53.90
L Morgan Lee
Have experiences and sort of dabbling in like quote unquote research for the show where I like went into chat rooms and chatted with people went into chat rooms with like women who were Trans and like the the men who were you know enamored by them and like chatting with these men.

25:58.93
howtosucceed
Right.

26:09.28
howtosucceed
Um, my um yeah.

26:11.17
L Morgan Lee
Started meeting some of these people like fully having like experiences that like dabbling into a world that I realize was fire. Um I realized I was playing with fire and kept like stopping and putting it away stopping and putting it away with much of this is actually funny that you mention 1 woman's story.

26:21.90
howtosucceed
Oh myy God Let him know? yeah.

26:31.20
L Morgan Lee
Um, this is something that I'm I'm now looking back to start working on in a sort of Solo Ish piece. Um like that period of my life that when I was dipping my toes in to the fire and did not even realize that's what I was doing. Um.

26:38.87
howtosucceed
Right? ah.

26:43.28
howtosucceed
Yes, you absolutely should also did you get to actually perform this brothel cabaret.

26:50.10
L Morgan Lee
So so it ended up being like a literal musical. Um, which I got I'd been working on for a couple some years then I entered. Ah so this particular summer I finished this project got back to the city and was like I want to do something with this piece that I've been playing with.

26:56.49
howtosucceed
Um, okay.

27:08.15
howtosucceed
Um, yeah, yeah, right.

27:09.27
L Morgan Lee
But I don't have a composer and I know it's a musical I need a composer. What am I going to do and then I was like look you know what? you know what? the sound of this show is you know, kind of a feel of the show I am a musical human so I was like what if I just like try and write a song.

27:22.70
howtosucceed
Um, right? yeah.

27:27.34
L Morgan Lee
And so I like tried to write a song. Um, and then somehow I wrote the accompaniment to that song and it's just me me and Sibelius like finding chord structures and like trying to shape the shape the accompaniment around what the chords are and like.

27:32.52
howtosucceed
Oh my god.

27:38.16
howtosucceed
But I know.

27:42.57
L Morgan Lee
Fast forward to me like wake up in the middle of the night with melodies in my head plugging them out on a keyboard and trying to write them down and figuring them out transcribing what I was writing like literally a complete dork all around in every way because I like somehow wrote an entire score with all of the accompanent and all the vo all the vocal arrangements.

27:51.44
howtosucceed
Um, and.

28:01.60
howtosucceed
This is incredible. You found yourself in like so many ways. Wow yeah.

28:02.62
L Morgan Lee
Um, and so like yeah like the things that you become capable of doing that you don't even realize um and so I sort of just like birthed this piece. Um, and I was temping at the time so I was able to then afford.

28:15.12
howtosucceed
Yeah.

28:21.50
L Morgan Lee
To like get a group of 12 actors together I cast them to callbacks at a full audition process. Um and cast a version of this reading and did like a presentation of the a reading of the show. Um and like it's so wild because I remember sitting in the room thinking like.

28:27.30
howtosucceed
Um, no.

28:31.41
howtosucceed
Oh my god.

28:39.82
L Morgan Lee
Everyone's singing this like piece that I wrote and like it's about this character that I came up with I don't know where she came from quote unquote but here she isn't getting to live her life and I felt like I was I had one of those moments performing it that felt like this is what this is what acting feels like.

28:46.30
howtosucceed
Right.

28:59.46
L Morgan Lee
Like this is actually what it should feel like it's just honest, It's true. It feels truly grounded and not me I never had a problem connecting to a place that like felt honest, but it wasn't full.

29:00.76
howtosucceed
Um, like true. Um, yeah.

29:12.51
howtosucceed
Um, right? Oh my goodness.

29:14.45
L Morgan Lee
And so like I think the difference is is it starts like doing that reading I was like this is it and and it was like I came to I have to maybe I have to be the only one to create what I do because no I can see me. Ah, so so yeah, so did that and like um.

29:24.23
howtosucceed
Um, sure. But yeah, yeah, but yeah.

29:31.29
L Morgan Lee
Like about a year later entered the piece into the near york musical theater festival like nymphs situation. Um the the piece got picked up to do their reading circuit like they have like a reading process. Um, and so I was like let's do it. Let's see and ended up.

29:34.56
howtosucceed
Yeah, back in the day. Yeah.

29:42.87
howtosucceed
Um, no great. Yeah.

29:47.21
L Morgan Lee
Finding a friend who was a composer because I was like I wrote these songs but if we get into a reading process and things need to be changed last minute. This is not what I do so I need someone here who can actually like do this. This is your gift. Um, that human and I you know so we worked on the project. Whatever.

29:57.70
howtosucceed
Right? yeah.

30:05.20
L Morgan Lee
Fast forward a year or so I kept saying this piece is so is so like entrenched in trans experiences and in like a trans world and like I feel like like am I appropriating someone else's like culture am I like.

30:14.91
howtosucceed
Um, yeah.

30:21.15
howtosucceed
Um I Laura my.

30:21.95
L Morgan Lee
I Don't know where it came from I'm just trying to like let out what comes out naturally but I feel like I need to have Trans people on this team so that I can like actually be like feel secure in what we're saying here right? like this like great that you stumbled into this story but like.

30:30.27
howtosucceed
Um, I got right? like good for you For know we um.

30:38.85
L Morgan Lee
If there are not Trans people attached to this. It feels like it's just really not ok, um, and then and then the composer of the piece comes out to me and says when when you are when you offer me this piece. Um.

30:46.15
howtosucceed
That's amazing.

30:51.79
howtosucceed
Ah, ah.

30:55.84
L Morgan Lee
I Just start speaking to someone and I feel like I need to let you know that I am a Trans woman and that I hope that's okay and I'm just sitting on the opposite side and reading my email just sobbing profusely saying oh my God This is so beautiful that you felt comfortable to come out to me and like you felt free to say that and like I now like you are what I asked for.

31:08.59
howtosucceed
Pull on.

31:14.96
L Morgan Lee
And you are You are the person I was hoping will come along because I feel like I'm appropriating somebody else's culture and like I mean just crazy lady completely blind. Um, and so so like we kept working on it and a friend of mine at one point was talking to me.

31:15.50
howtosucceed
Um, right.

31:27.72
howtosucceed
Ah.

31:33.32
L Morgan Lee
And like I'd started also doing photography um and a friend of mine was talking to me about the about the show and and he goes so you're playing this character who would be considered trans by you know everyday purposes and I was like yes and he goes. You can't play that character and I and I went why can't I and he was like because you're not trans and I and then I I heard myself go you don't know what I am and I like stopped myself in that moment and was like like this I had never felt that before there was like a fire.

31:52.46
howtosucceed
It.

32:02.31
howtosucceed
Oh my pop.

32:08.78
howtosucceed
Yeah.

32:10.11
L Morgan Lee
Came out of my like loins that was like so offended that someone would like take someone would try to take this this story. My story from me. Um, and I got really like emotional and like kind of shaky and like very uncomfortable and have to go to the restroom really quickly like I was like not okay.

32:17.24
howtosucceed
Um, you're sorry yeah, um, why.

32:29.30
howtosucceed
Ah.

32:29.37
L Morgan Lee
Um, because then I realize what is this about like what you're going through right now. What is this actually about um why are you feeling like this. Um, and so I got home and I you know kept doing my photo shoots and one of the things I would always ask people I do some photography one of the things I was.

32:35.65
howtosucceed
I got.

32:48.27
L Morgan Lee
Always ask my subjects. Um I am always in in this conversation about finding yourself I'm always cure the person I want to Photograph is the version of you with nothing on your shoulders I don't want societal expectations or gender expectations or life.

32:53.64
howtosucceed
You love.

33:05.63
L Morgan Lee
Who are you when you're actually able to breathe. That's who I want to find that's who I want to shoot. Um.

33:08.13
howtosucceed
I Oh like God and that's a hard person for everybody to find for themselves. They're like I don't know who am I like what does that even look like yes.

33:15.30
L Morgan Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and and I and I love the conversation around it because it's a moment in my session to ask those questions and to start to like figure that out and to maybe see what it feels like to be in a space That's really like affirming you to do that like.

33:26.30
howtosucceed
F.

33:32.90
howtosucceed
Now.

33:33.00
L Morgan Lee
What does it look like for you to ask yourself those questions like we're just playing. We're just shooting. We're just seeing what happens. Um and after one of the sessions I was like honey to myself I was like who are you when all those things are gone when all those things are taken off like who is left there.

33:39.33
howtosucceed
Um, yeah, yeah.

33:51.72
L Morgan Lee
Um, and I started having this like thought of moments in college when I got to when I had moments where I'd presented a certain way or like dressed up a certain way. Um, and then I start thinking about the times in my apartment that I was quote unquote doing research and I started thinking about all this.

34:00.46
howtosucceed
Sure slide.

34:09.50
howtosucceed
Oh my color.

34:11.65
L Morgan Lee
All of these things started coming to me that I was like when you feel the most actually in your skin and like you're not like putting on something. It's those moments and I was like maybe I need to like I've been like living off of only 80% of who I am and like.

34:27.15
howtosucceed
This one My gun.

34:28.39
L Morgan Lee
Maybe there's this 20% of me that I'm just not letting free that I need to let her out of the cage and see what that's about and so I did I was like I'm going to let this out with this 20% of myself that I'm not being open to I'm going to see what that looks like and that that sort of started the journey of things. Um.

34:34.47
howtosucceed
Yeah.

34:42.45
howtosucceed
Um, um, um, all I.

34:47.52
L Morgan Lee
I very quickly realized that I had only been living on 20% and that actually and actually the the the 80% was who was locked in the cage the whole time.

34:53.79
howtosucceed
Right? That was a different percentage. Ah, this story is incredible. You I Hope oh my God Well I hope that you can find a piece of art.

35:01.12
L Morgan Lee
I Don't think I've ever actually like talked through this this way with someone So I love that.

35:09.91
howtosucceed
Within this I mean this is just like I'm like whoa nice. Um, yeah.

35:13.40
L Morgan Lee
Once? Yeah, yeah, it's like it's a it's while because it's it's I and I I say it all the time I I always felt like I think one of the things that kept me away from finding my own self was I thought. In order to be Trans I had to be miserable and suicidal I had to hate my body and myself I had to feel like I was wrong and so because I didn't feel all those like really painful like heart like hurting things.

35:40.24
howtosucceed
Good night.

35:50.50
howtosucceed
Um, right right? like I I'm actually an okay person like I'm happy with who I am.

35:50.79
L Morgan Lee
I Thought well I must not be Trans Maybe maybe I'm maybe I am not because I because it was cost I did a lot a lot of way a lot of times along the way I would think like is am I and I was like no but you can't be because you're not.

36:05.67
howtosucceed
Happy.

36:07.30
L Morgan Lee
The people that you know or who have seen in the narrative of what Trans looks like everyone has sad eyes everyone. Everyone looks broken and they're behind their eyes and like for me I was like I I I don't feel like that's me and I and so so I must not be Trans and so when I started to.

36:19.21
howtosucceed
Now. Yeah.

36:26.69
L Morgan Lee
Actually allow myself to dig and like notice notice what had been there have been breadcrumbs around me since I was a little kid I It's like it's so interesting how we compartmentalize things because the minute I open my mind and like allowed myself to like lean in.

36:29.17
howtosucceed
Here? yeah.

36:42.95
howtosucceed
A.

36:45.58
L Morgan Lee
I started to remember like moments as I I remember being a little kid being like five or six years old literally looking up at the sky in my bedroom and saying if I woke up and I was a girl everything would be perfect and I like but I knew like that was a ridiculous thought. That's not possible. That's not possible. It'll never happen. So.

36:58.37
howtosucceed
Um, oh my God Yeah right? yeah and all of us have those things where we're like okay I pushed through this ah you know whatever is oh my god.

37:05.42
L Morgan Lee
Just get over it and live your life that that was the so I'd only been living.

37:14.19
howtosucceed
And this was also at a time This was also at a time when there weren't very many Trans people around. Yeah yes, visible is is clearly the word. Yeah, exactly right.

37:19.98
L Morgan Lee
Visible Sure it's like it's like we we we were everywhere but we but we didn't have the internet and we didn't have We didn't have places to to see versions of ourselves so me having these thoughts and growing up in a household that was like very practical and very you know.

37:33.14
howtosucceed
Yeah.

37:38.10
howtosucceed
Sure.

37:39.28
L Morgan Lee
My mom is creative and but like what is a very practical Christian home. So this idea that I had of like if I woke up but I was a girl things would all be ok. That's just like oh that's crazy talk. Why would you even think that and so so to like revisit it. It was like it was just realizing that.

37:49.69
howtosucceed
For sure right? And you're yeah oh my God now.

37:58.71
L Morgan Lee
I I was never my mom's biggest. My mom's biggest question was like have you been hurting all this time have you felt like you were not free all this time and I was like I've been ok I just realized that I just realized that I was living with a ceiling that was at 20% and

38:09.54
howtosucceed
Yeah.

38:15.62
howtosucceed
Coming up.

38:16.70
L Morgan Lee
When I started to like actually lean in and find myself there was eighty more percent of a leg life there that I had not actually been breathing and so I I know what it feels like to breathe now.

38:26.21
howtosucceed
Um, yeah, yeah, oh my God That's amazing. So then it was it a pretty quick like turnaround after that when you're just like oh this is me or.

38:36.92
L Morgan Lee
I I mean I I think the first I think like the first like to the first like year and a half or two years of starting to transition um were interesting. Um, because.

38:54.28
L Morgan Lee
The minute you start the minute you say I am the minute you come to realization that like I am Trans Um, all of a sudden you also then notice how the world responds to Trans people.

39:07.54
howtosucceed
Of course I.

39:08.89
L Morgan Lee
In a way that in a way that you might not have seen before or really noticed before like it's that thing about prip. One of the things I've learned a lot about through transition is privilege um because because because we don't We don't realize that we have it when we do and so it's.

39:17.55
howtosucceed
Oh I'm sure. Yeah. Well and it's interesting because you you had you probably thought of yourself as not privileged in other ways but then like it's there's privilege is such a. There's so many level there. Yeah.

39:35.38
L Morgan Lee
Ah, because there's so many there's so many layers right? It's like it's like I I there is so there is Cis privilege in that I I did not realize that Trans people were viewed a certain way Truly I didn't get it.

39:48.28
howtosucceed
Or what that how that manifests and yeah.

39:49.63
L Morgan Lee
Um, and so or what that how that manifests um and so that was one level. There was another layer of you know I was never someone who I was never someone who identified with this idea of male privilege. Um, but but through but 3 transition.

40:02.78
howtosucceed
Or 8

40:07.14
L Morgan Lee
There's nothing like having it stripped from you to know that you had it. Um, and so I definitely started to. It's like as the world started to see who you are and you felt affirmed and you felt you felt seen. Everyone's using the right pronouns you're feeling great and you're also realizing.

40:08.30
howtosucceed
The. Hello.

40:18.84
howtosucceed
Yeah.

40:24.49
L Morgan Lee
My safety is constantly compromised. People are not listening to me I'm getting cut off places men are really disgusting. Um like it's just all of these things that I had sort of kind of like.

40:27.78
howtosucceed
Ask. Oh My god.

40:39.40
L Morgan Lee
Sort of passively heard like this kind of almost dismissed from so many friends over the years like oh girl, it's fine. It's safe. It's fine. It's fine. It's like no no now now you're living it and you go girl, you were right? No no, it's not ok and this is this is really unsafe and this is not and like.

40:48.22
howtosucceed
Soon and long long.

40:55.53
howtosucceed
Yeah.

40:56.57
L Morgan Lee
How dare you feel comfortable touching me, you don't you have no agency or ownership of my body and yet you are touching me and then getting mad if I pull away from you I don't even know you like like it's like there's so many so many colors that I was like oh my God like.

41:05.94
howtosucceed
Yeah, oh yeah.

41:14.33
L Morgan Lee
And and then at the same and at the same time I then go what a gift it is to be in a position where you get to lift outside of society in a sense and see both sides of what's happened.

41:26.71
howtosucceed
Right? See that.

41:30.37
L Morgan Lee
You can see where the problems are and what you can see where the things that are not ok, live. It's like how can I be of service. How can I be of service to help make some kind of a difference in this because this is not ok.

41:37.42
howtosucceed
Oh my God Yeah Wow your journey is I mean so I know.

41:48.20
L Morgan Lee
Um, it's It's a lot. Um.

41:53.21
howtosucceed
Yeah now I'm like though there's like 3 more episodes in here because I'm I'm curious if like you had behaviors before that you then changed. But maybe that's not interesting.

42:04.37
L Morgan Lee
Oh that. But what? what's what's interesting about that is I didn't my my my friends my like closest circles of people were very like I got a couple people from college who I'd been friends with all along um and it's always you know, sort of.

42:09.19
howtosucceed
Um, yeah.

42:20.24
L Morgan Lee
Coming out quote unquote or speaking your truth to to people who you know already is always a little tricky um and like many of them were like girl. We've we've kind of always wondered like we've kind of always it. You always just felt like a girl to us like there was not a big. There was not a big.

42:23.94
howtosucceed
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

42:34.20
howtosucceed
Um, my God right? I Yeah, that's love. Yeah.

42:38.89
L Morgan Lee
It's not a big to do and I was like but it is I'm like it is a big to do for me is.

42:44.27
howtosucceed
Lovely When like the people that love you just are like yeah yeah, you okay, you're still you like that's not a big deal to us. But that you're like no.

42:50.86
L Morgan Lee
But like for me this is like mind blowing this is earthshattering like my whole life is changing um but like and in the and in that same token. There were also then relationships that you know foul apart not now fell apart but they sort of you know people are with you for seasons sometimes.

42:52.92
howtosucceed
Right? But totally yeah.

43:06.90
howtosucceed
Absolutely.

43:07.92
L Morgan Lee
And I know that some of there were a couple people who were maybe like I consider some of my like friends of a lifetime who I'm not with anymore. Um, and I get a little emotional thinking about them because I like some one one of those humans in particular was like very very important to me.

43:15.10
howtosucceed
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, earth.

43:26.46
howtosucceed
Yeah.

43:27.62
L Morgan Lee
Um, and I think on I think on some level he just he didn't sign up for a girlfriend. He didn't sign up for that and so it's so we just didn't it didn't say together. Um, and it's like that those are the things that hurt a bit because you're like that person knows me the the deepest.

43:32.11
howtosucceed
Oh my name Riot group. Yeah yeah.

43:47.16
L Morgan Lee
And so many ways and I've I've told that person so many secrets and things that like that human actually had questions to the more I started to reveal he was like I started wondering when you were telling me but but I was like oh okay I didn't mean I didn't see it So I wish you'd set something.

43:50.38
howtosucceed
Today.

43:56.57
howtosucceed
Right.

44:02.17
howtosucceed
Yeah, and that feels like it's more a fear on their side than anything to do with you really? but that's complicated too. You know.

44:05.70
L Morgan Lee
Sure sure Yeah, it's it's comp. Yeah, it's complicated because it's It's also just I I'm very much like a loopy doopy girl that I believe that the universe always has your back and so so for me, it's like I know that certain.

44:18.55
howtosucceed
Yeah.

44:24.40
L Morgan Lee
Moves and shifts hurt and they feel a certain way but because the universe has my back I know that they're ushering me into the things I'm supposed to be doing and getting and the the the relationships that I meant to have I'm walking towards them. Um.

44:34.62
howtosucceed
Yes, yes. Right? right? yeah.

44:42.10
L Morgan Lee
It just it doesn't take away the the hurt of the things from the past but I do trust and believe that like what's ahead are the things I've asked for.

44:50.21
howtosucceed
Yes, and you've clearly been through enough hurt and pain and trials and tribulations to know that you come out stronger on the other side. Yeah, that's a great place to begin.

44:58.23
L Morgan Lee
Yeah, yeah, as challenging as it is. It's it's like yeah, it's funny because it's like people see this in particular like with it like the got the es strange the strange loop journey. It's it's.

45:10.10
howtosucceed
Yeah.

45:13.90
L Morgan Lee
It's so it's its own layer of conversation in some ways because I was also figuring out a lot of this through the development process of that show and like I was with the show from like 2014 ish

45:15.99
howtosucceed
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

45:24.85
howtosucceed
Um, and were you with that show from the beginning.

45:31.50
howtosucceed
Okay, 2

45:32.60
L Morgan Lee
Um, so it was It was not the beginning of the show but it was the beginning phases I believe it was like the beginning phases of like a complete script so there had been like there had been like bits of workshop along the way that I was not a part of um, including a version of the show that was like.

45:41.78
howtosucceed
Okay, so yeah, a long time.

45:52.41
L Morgan Lee
Mixed races and all mixed genders and everything like it was just like a very mixed company. Um, and so I I came in when it got to ah musical theater factory and they did that like first reading at musical theater factory that's what that was my introduction. Um, and at that point at that point I had not.

45:54.49
howtosucceed
Oh Wow! Interesting. Okay.

46:02.80
howtosucceed
Oh cool. Yeah yeah.

46:11.95
L Morgan Lee
Had not come out yet. So literally it was like it was like beginning I literally transitioned through the whole thing you know me opening at Playwrights Horizons off Broadway was like the first time that I'd bet on New York stage and been honest and myself and.

46:12.81
howtosucceed
Okay, Wow Oh my god.

46:30.58
L Morgan Lee
Here I am in many ways. Um, so I was I was terrified. Um I was terrified of like how I would be received and like if I would somehow be mis gendered or not seen clearly especially in this show with this kind of context. Um, and what ended up happening funny enough off Broadway was.

46:31.26
howtosucceed
Yeah, yeah.

46:42.14
howtosucceed
For right.

46:50.47
L Morgan Lee
They started getting questions like um, they start getting questions about like this is a gay show right? This is a gay this a gay premise. Why is this black lady on stage with you all like why is this random girl there. Um and like it ended up being like for me in some ways like very affirming.

46:59.42
howtosucceed
Oh my god.

47:07.26
howtosucceed
Um, yeah, yeah, not something.

47:07.59
L Morgan Lee
Ah, like very like well this is what I this is what you should be wondering because they came to me I at 1 point at one point they came to me they were like you know people that we've had a couple people ask you know why is there a woman in the cast and like we don't want to respond with you know? Well she's trans because I was like no, you shouldn't say that because that's not that's not great.

47:23.23
howtosucceed
Yeah, beside the point because you are a woman in the cast. Yeah yeah.

47:27.90
L Morgan Lee
And then it's also not helping anything exactly and so my question was I was like so you need to ask yourselves the question. Why is there a woman in the cast if you all if you all don't I was like it I was like it's something for you all to know so and and like in this show. It's so it's so.

47:35.54
howtosucceed
Um, yeah, yeah, that's a different question. Oh my God you're so brilliant. Yeah.

47:46.42
L Morgan Lee
Easily explainable in this in this particular man's mind if we are representative of thoughts. There's going to be at least 1 girl in the head. Um, yeah I was like so that idea is like really easy but like that was the I got a lot of I will say one of the one of the.

47:50.57
howtosucceed
Um, yeah, yeah, right? it totally works. Yeah.

48:05.60
L Morgan Lee
Really positive things I took out of the strange loop journey. One of the positive things was certainly getting more comfortable with myself on stage in front of people.

48:17.46
howtosucceed
Yeah.

48:18.92
L Morgan Lee
Um I did I it was it was a really affirming journey that that predict that summer at playwrights in particular I started like trying things and expressing myself in ways that I was feeling more comfortable with and like it really helped it really helped me in terms of my transition to be honest with you.

48:25.36
howtosucceed
Yeah.

48:37.21
howtosucceed
Yeah, that sounds like it. Um I This has been I don't want to take up too much of your time This has been so great. But I do want to ask about because now you're doing directing How did you get into that.

48:38.50
L Morgan Lee
Yeah, know you that I am directing a bit. Well the thing is I had always been directing a little bit here and there um but I I mean girl I mean I've done.

48:54.88
howtosucceed
Ah, yeah, yeah, right, all part of the same. Yeah, right right.

48:57.69
L Morgan Lee
I've done a lot of things I've like I've taught voice I've I've directed I'm photography like it's like it's all it all comes from the same core of the brain in some ways for me directing directing I always have a point of View. And I always sort of have a vision and in ideas about ways that we can get to that point of view to share that point of view with a group or share that point of view with others. Um so directing was always something that that lurked around me.

49:22.23
howtosucceed
Yeah, right.

49:31.89
L Morgan Lee
I Mean even even back as early as being like in middle school and like like guy a guy always ended up in a position if we were in a group of people somehow I'd never force my way but I always ended up in the position of like leadership in some way. Um.

49:33.17
howtosucceed
Um, yeah.

49:46.45
howtosucceed
Yeah, yeah, and yeah.

49:48.37
L Morgan Lee
And so um, so I sort of fell into a spot where I was like well I have the notes and I have the thought and like so let's clear this up. This is how this can happen and I've been watching everyone So I know what you do I Know what you do I Know what you do These things can work together if we put you here, put you here. But you here. Um.

49:57.58
howtosucceed
Yeah, right.

50:06.56
L Morgan Lee
So yeah, so it's so it's always sort of been lurking around my mind and I actually kind of lost track of a lot of it during transition. Um like it like the last year or so have been a lot of me like trying to reconnect with who.

50:13.97
howtosucceed
Yeah.

50:23.83
L Morgan Lee
Reconnect with the human who wrote a musical like reconnect with the human who really like that part of you that's going These are the things I Do How do I utilize those things. Um and how can I How can I How can I be observed like for a lot a lot of us. How can I be of service.

50:24.38
howtosucceed
Um, yeah, yes.

50:35.54
howtosucceed
Right? And that true. Yeah right? Well I think you are such a gift to this world and I'm I'm so thrilled to see whatever you do next? um.

50:40.59
L Morgan Lee
To our to our world.

50:45.56
L Morgan Lee
Thank you.

50:52.75
howtosucceed
Okay I like to ask everyone this question if somebody is looking to have success in theater. What is something that they should do or focus on. Yeah yes.

50:59.33
L Morgan Lee
Find themselves. Yeah I think that's the easiest in this conversation that seems to be find yourself, take take the time to ask yourself the hard questions to lean into the areas that you are most afraid to because there's a reason that you're afraid of them.

51:17.47
howtosucceed
Yeah, right.

51:18.70
L Morgan Lee
Lean into it. Um I do feel like I feel like the the space where the fears are are where all the magic is um and what I said it's in some point I feel like I said to someone like the things that I was running away from are the very things that gave me wings.

51:25.79
howtosucceed
Yes.

51:33.89
howtosucceed
Oh my God Yes, so many great quotes in this. Oh my gosh. Yes, this amazing is there anything else you want to you can do that.

51:47.64
L Morgan Lee
It's funny because it's funny. It's funny because when I hear people say like I love I Love that you said want to be successful in theater and and you didn't specify like what that looks like I think that's really lovely and like ah I'm trying to get I'm trying to get my students to see that to think.

51:57.71
howtosucceed
Yeah, yeah.

52:03.83
howtosucceed
I yeah.

52:05.33
L Morgan Lee
How do you? So how do you find success for yourself and for your spirit because when someone goes you know if you're a young person and what do you say to a young person who cannot wait to be on Broadway and I'm like run the other way but but but because I'm like.

52:15.80
howtosucceed
And then.

52:23.15
L Morgan Lee
Girl You don't like there's a lot of colors inside of that thing that like you have to be that you have to be ready for and like and I'm like I want Yeah, it's like I want you to know that like inside of that thing is all that magic and all that wonder and all those joyful things that you dream of and there's also.

52:28.16
howtosucceed
Um, yeah, yes, not easy.

52:38.67
howtosucceed
Like yeah.

52:41.40
L Morgan Lee
A very like solid and like rigid machine around it that you do have to learn how to navigate in order to to really find that joy in that magic again? Um, so it's like I when you want when you want to run towards it I want you to be ready and happy and so and fulfilled.

52:51.44
howtosucceed
Um, right? Yes, my gosh.

52:59.45
L Morgan Lee
So that you're whole walking in the door. Ah.

53:01.10
howtosucceed
Absolutely that is literally like why I started this podcast and what I'm trying to the message that I'm trying to spread is like what success looks like is a million different things. Even if you've been in a broadway show as you know that does not mean you're on Broadway every day for the rest of your career like it.

53:10.98
L Morgan Lee
Absolutely no, no, it doesn't I I do I'm starting I am officially now you know a year out I am now starting to miss that Broadway I'm starting to Miss Broadway I'm starting to be like I'm ready to go back. But like.

53:20.58
howtosucceed
Me.

53:30.00
L Morgan Lee
It's it's it's It's a new day. It's a new day. It's a new time I've got new bills to pay. Um, ah um, yeah, it's like it's it's ah you got to find the success. You got to find the success in your heart because it might not always be in your bank account.

53:30.39
howtosucceed
Um, yeah.

53:33.82
howtosucceed
I know right? This is that's real. Yeah to yeah yeah, and it could be that you want to make an impact on people's lives on a 1 on one way or you want to. Create or like there's so many different ways that that can look and it's so important to do that work. Um, oh my gosh. Thank you, thank you? Thank you? This is I think this is my favorite episode yet. Oh my god.

53:55.65
L Morgan Lee
Um, is in I say.

53:58.33
L Morgan Lee
Oh thank. Thank you I'm just like blabbing away as I'm but as I'm saying this stuff I'm like oh right like some of these things are kind of cool to some of things are cool to share I'm glad that I'm. Thank you for having a space that felt free for me to do that.

54:18.27
howtosucceed
I am so thrilled and I hope I hope all your students listen to this and everyone um, just yeah, you know for for all the reasons. 


55:04.67
howtosucceed
okay, so do you have like I don't know an Instagram page or website or something that you want people to to find you.

55:08.40
L Morgan Lee
Please do Thank you.

55:17.40
L Morgan Lee
Oh ah, absolutely I mean I'm on Instagram at El Morgan Lee um website is also the same I'm easy to find on the socials. There's always some random stuff on there.

55:24.84
howtosucceed
Great. Okay, yeah, great.

55:32.40
L Morgan Lee
I'm trying to figure out ways to try to figure out ways to bring this version of yourself into the social media world. It's so tricky finding the balance.

55:43.56
howtosucceed
Oh my gosh I'm terrible at that I did I had a um, he's like a I don't know theater coach guy but he's also a queer. Well he's like a choreographer. But yes, he's an advisor and he on he It was an episode and he talked about social media actually is a great place to just show.

55:47.29
L Morgan Lee
Like an advisor.

56:01.20
howtosucceed
Who you are and not just be tailored to like your career but mine I mean I'm just bad at that because I'm like oh I want it to be like me playing a gig. Yeah right? But yeah.

56:06.12
L Morgan Lee
Ah, this is what it is this is but it's this is my space where I don't need to be all that I just want to share pictures but people look at it people look at your social media. Um, and it I agree with him it is it is a chance. It's interesting because I saw this lady talking to. Um oh god. Ah, friend of mine is on this show called bling empire they're like reality show and so one of the one of them he was speaking to one of the like 1 of the reps at like um at like some major modeling agency. Um, and so she was like what is your social media as age pull up your social media and so.

56:27.40
howtosucceed
Oh okay, great.

56:36.90
howtosucceed
Yeah.

56:42.73
L Morgan Lee
She's he pulled up the social media and she's like great I see these pictures and she goes who are you and he's like but those pictures and she's like right? but who are you and he start telling her like his platform and the things he cares about and she's like where's that on your social media. That's what will make people follow you and I'm like but that's just hard. How do I do.

56:52.56
howtosucceed
Um, ah oh gosh.

56:58.77
howtosucceed
Well, that's a lot of pressure too though. Oh God I mean I love that? Yeah well right? Oh my gosh. Okay I love that idea, but the reality of what that looks like seems tricky but you know so maybe it's.

57:03.24
L Morgan Lee
I'm not going to sit here like sobbing on my social media. Ah.

57:12.77
L Morgan Lee
And it and it doesn't feel and it doesn't feel real sometimes because like I'm not someone who's like oh my God This conversation was so so good. This is going so great. Oh my God like wait wait wait wait. Let's just keep talking as we're doing this but I'm not I'm not going to do that. Um.

57:27.25
howtosucceed
Um, actually that doesn't remind me I did want to get a picture I I was like someone up. Okay, we're in his fat. Ah um, yeah someone else like posted a picture of me of an interview and I was like oh that's clever since we're not doing video. Oh my God Well that yeah, that's like.

57:31.19
L Morgan Lee
Okay.

57:43.10
L Morgan Lee
Um, ah.

57:47.40
howtosucceed
Interesting kind of over like big picture away. Maybe it's better just be like okay, big picture. Do I post this because it's about who I am or um, do I post this because it's about like something else I don't know.

57:53.80
L Morgan Lee
Because it because it's also it's like you're navigating if you're an actor. This is something this is definitely something I've been dealing with lately. It's like on the acting side I we are look I can be vocal about the things I want to be vocal about. But like the reality is as an actor. We're hired to be vessels and so I there are ways that I set that I have to separate when I'm doing industry things and who is El Morgan on the couch at home because they are different. They are different like I can walk into a room.

58:16.78
howtosucceed
Yeah.

58:27.71
howtosucceed
Yes.

58:32.57
L Morgan Lee
That I find extremely problematic and there's lots of there's lots of issues that El Morgan on the couch has words about but in this space but in this space I'm getting paid to tell this story that I think is a great story. So I'm going to I'm going to navigate and figure out the ways to survive to be ok in this space so that I can tell this story.

58:41.24
howtosucceed
Ah.

58:45.83
howtosucceed
Ah, yeah, right.

58:52.17
L Morgan Lee
Um, but when you really mesh all those things together it there is a form of activism that comes with that that I am not interested in participating in I'm like I've I've worked way too hard to get to where I am today to sacrifice that based on like really.

58:52.96
howtosucceed
Um, yes, yeah.

59:00.20
howtosucceed
Right. Yeah.

59:10.17
L Morgan Lee
Problematic ways that society works around us you know because it because if you right? It's like if you say something if you you know we are We are in a society where if you say something that is somehow deemed as notes or negative towards the machine itself.

59:12.62
howtosucceed
Yeah, and that's not your problem to solve.


59:42.67
L Morgan Lee
So they never have to say a word audiences will rip you to shreds and say that you're ungrateful and you didn't do this and you're just causing trouble and you're just seeking attention and all the while what you're saying is something that could be really helpful and like creating the change that we all seem to say that we want.

59:50.62
howtosucceed
Start make.


01:02:05.19
L Morgan Lee
But like it's a, but it's a good example of it's like a so really good example of like in our business. It's like you you really have to kind of just do the thing you need to do and like have your opinions be have the point of view. But like if you choose to make a big public airing of something which is.

01:02:07.18
howtosucceed
Same.

01:02:14.52
howtosucceed
Yeah, yeah.

01:02:23.30
L Morgan Lee
Ah, totally in your right to do know that that also comes with a narrative after that too that might not actually have people hear what you were trying to say so it's like how do you? It's like the the real question is how do you.

01:02:24.35
howtosucceed
Yeah, right? Oh yeah.

01:02:41.36
L Morgan Lee
How do you help to bring that change forward in ways that um in ways that aren't so loud. It's like.

01:02:47.41
howtosucceed
Or heard. Yeah, again, it's that like double acting that you've been doing like you're like this is the act. This is what the role that I want to play but I'm going to do it in a way that these people think is okay for me to do it.

01:03:00.74
L Morgan Lee
Which is really complicated. It's really complicated because you're like if I'm if I'm if I'm totally honest and totally free and give everything I think in every room. It's never going to be to your advantage and you and you probably shouldn't do it in life anyway. But but that's a.

01:03:04.96
howtosucceed
And yeah.

01:03:16.83
howtosucceed
Right here.

01:03:18.82
L Morgan Lee
It's something that I think that like this generation in particular um has not necessarily digested and are just screaming out everything and it's it's it's there are areas where I'm like you're bold and I love that boldness at the same time I want you to talk to more people who are older than you.

01:03:26.57
howtosucceed
Write transpiring.

01:03:35.00
howtosucceed
Right? Yeah, and maybe we'll get to a better place with that. Maybe more boldness will be accepted all around. But yeah.

01:03:35.92
L Morgan Lee
So You can craft how you how you're bold I Hope so I hope so I mean I think people know that people are individuals but I do think it is not. It is not um, it's not a coincidence that I don't really know. The personal thoughts of many of the artists that I respect the most I think that there's something very interesting about that to me it' their work.

01:04:02.10
howtosucceed
Oh my God Well and then it's like well why do you respect them? You respect you respect their work. Oh ah, yeah.

01:04:11.65
L Morgan Lee
You don't have any you have no clue who those humans are and they're and they're silent and say nothing and they and they and they might share all the things that you share but they also know the bit but they also know the business.

01:04:21.34
howtosucceed
Yeah, you don't know. yeah yeah I think that's one of the in thinking about like overarching ideas of like how to find success in theater. 1 of them is to understand the industry.

01:04:32.72
L Morgan Lee
Have to you have to sure? Yeah, well because I mean I think yeah and it's like that's the thing is that like if you can hold on to.

01:04:34.78
howtosucceed
Like truly understand what you're talking about you have to and and that's true in other industries too and but but then maybe there's an aspect of how do we change the industry like maybe that's how to find success too. It's like by being more yourself.

01:04:52.11
L Morgan Lee
Because the reality is is like being yourself, especially if you're someone who has an opinion I have lots of opinions. If for someone who has an opinion like being to hold on to yourself means Also sometimes knowing the spaces that it's appropriate to share your thoughts and knowing when it's not.

01:04:57.23
howtosucceed
Yeah.

01:05:07.76
howtosucceed
And finding those faces or creating those faces. Yeah yeah, yeah, yes.

01:05:11.44
L Morgan Lee
And finding those spaces exactly exactly exactly and that's that's to me the key is creating spaces that are free and open creating the spaces that you want to be a part of it's just everybody can't be tasked with that. But.

01:05:25.49
howtosucceed
And man right? and nor is everyone up for that challenge. But yeah, yeah, some of us are though. Thank you again. This is incredible, Incredible talking to you.

01:05:30.38
L Morgan Lee
Noise everyone wanted right? right? Ah, thank you I was like it's a sensible European goodbye.

01:05:43.31
howtosucceed
I I got so funny I know sometimes I just like can help but be myself and be like oh my God Bye. Thank you so much and then like that. But we're like who is this house like she's wiy and weird I'm like sorry I Just they're my friends I Hope so.

01:05:57.33
L Morgan Lee
Ah, that makes people like like to listen to the podcast though. Ah.

01:06:02.79
howtosucceed
I appreciate that I haven't gotten any negative reviews where they're like this girl talks like a valley girl from California. She's really annoying and I'm like well I am so yes, great I love that and I can't wait to.

01:06:13.62
L Morgan Lee
Ah, ah, awesome. Well we will We will touch base on on dates to hang out. Yeah yeah, you too have a good rest of your day.

01:06:22.50
howtosucceed
Learn more about you and know you better. All right have a great day. Thank you.